Smile Pretty

It was amateur hour in my living room tonight. I could not stop laughing at this crap fest of a movie, and I'm being light with this.

A girl named Nastalia, aka "Nasty" is being abused by her adoptive father in the most PG way I've ever seen. She gets in some trouble at school when she is caught giving some dumb shit a blow job. Of course she gets into trouble with her "Dad" Peter. He locks her in the closet....so scary right? She soon after meets Matt a 32 year old that is super cool about talking to her and hanging out even though he knows shes 14. We soon find out that he knew her, from the Internet, apparently Peter has been putting the pictures of her he takes naked on the Internet, and Matt is one of his best customers, and has figured out where she lives and has come to find her. (Side note: Peter is selling the photos online for 8 dollars a piece, couldn't they even make that realistic?) (Also why is he not afraid of distributing child porn like this?)

She is now in love with him, after he attacks Peter they go on the run. After meeting another 14 year old, who was also abused they start a little 3-some action. I don't even think I can continue explaining this crap fest. So Ill just move on to making fun of it.

The movie starts out with the words "Suggested by a true story" Already off to a rocky start. It looked like they shot it on a camera phone, the audio levels were all off, they were peaking all over the place. The acting was below bad, it was upsetting to me as a human being. Not only are all the men in this, and I mean ALL of them pedophiles, but all the girls have been abused by their fathers and are more than willing to do it again. This isn't even close to the real world, its not even a good fantasy world.

I couldn't not stop laughing at the horrible dialogue that sounded as if an 8th grader with a hard on had written it. The story was so illogical and stupid it would have made even the worst story tellers question what these hacks were thinking. They took on a subject that is beyond delicate and treated it with a butchers job when they needed a surgeon. Ive seen some great and disturbing films on this subject and Ive seen it done right. This was a travesty that they performed here, they should next make a Holocaust movie, they might treat the subject matter with a little more humility and a little less bullshit.

As much fun as I was having laughing at this train wreck I couldn't wait for it to end. The characters existed simply for the story and not vice versa, they were 100% flat and one dimensional, and so... so.... so.... stupid. I really cant stress enough how bad this was, it reminded me a lot of the movie called "The Room" it was that laughingly bad. It was meant to be shocking and was only shockingly bad. Even the costumes were bad, like terribly bad, a beret, really?

Don't watch this, ever. Its sad that movies this bad are made when there are great ones that will never see the light of day. 2/10 stars.

Director: Harry Bromley Davenport

Starring: Scout Taylor-Compton, Pete Chekvala, Alexander Knezevich, Shannon Collis